Marathonbet Presents: Fake Matchday Reports

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A.F.C Bournemouth 0 – 1 Newcastle

Bournemouth continue their recent lack of form with a real lacklustre performance at home to Newcastle. Despite having 65% possession in the game, they only created one shot on target. You’d think Callum Wilson was back playing for Kettering Town with the lack of touches that he had. Contrastingly, Newcastle looked solid and never were in any real trouble. The 65th minute winner from Matt Richie looks to have secured Premier League football for Steve Bruce’s men next season.

 

Arsenal 2 – 1 Norwich

This appeared to be opportunity to see an Arsenal performance reminiscent of the glory days, against a weak Norwich side. However, it was more the disjointed performance we’ve come to know and love, leading to ranting fans on YouTube. In the first half, Norwich were much the better side, and thoroughly deserved to be 1-0 up through a Todd Cantwell screamer. However, Arteta took Lacazette off in place Nketiah, and the young man changed the game, scoring 2 minutes into the second half. Norwich held on for as long as they could, but a David Luiz header in the 83rd minute secured the victory for Arsenal, all but seemingly resigning Norwich to the Championship next season.

 

Aston Villa 0 – 1 Wolverhampton

This midlands derby looked to have extra spice to it, with the contrasting form between the two teams. Villa have won back to back games, with Wolves winless in three. The first half was a cagey affair, with neither team wanting to give too much away under the Birmingham sun. As expected, the majority of Villas’s play came through skipper Jack Grealish, however neither team could break the deadlock at half-time. The second half brought the matches main talking point, with Neves getting away with one of the worst tackles you’ve seen since Roy Keane, and 15 minutes later scoring what can only be described as goal of the season, giving Reina no chance. Villa gave it a good go at the end, but the Neves screamer proved to be the winner.

Brighton 1- 1 Manchester United

Well what can you say, it’s three steps forwards and two steps backwards for Man Utd. Over the past 2 weeks Greenwood and Martial have looked like a prime Yorke and Cole, but this weekend they were more Bebe and Macheda. Brighton dominated the first half, with Stephens seeing lots of the ball. However, Maupay and the Brighton front men couldn’t convert the chances. In the second half United were a better proposition, with Dan James breaking away in 72nd minute to slot it past Ryan. However, Brighton kept pushing, and in the 89th minute were rewarded for their efforts. It was a moment to forget for once renowned best Goalkeeper in the world De Gea, who let an Alexis MacAilister shot squirm through his legs.

 

Everton 3-3 Leicester

Well what a game this was for the neutral, although perhaps not so much for the respective defensive coaches. This was just one of those games. Within 5 minutes you knew it would be a classic with both Vardy and Calvert-Lewis both missing chances they’d expect to do better with. However, Vardy didn’t have to wait long to get on the score sheet from the penalty spot, as Michael Keane thought he’d switch to rugby, and take out Maddison. Everton responded quickly with a great team goal finished by Andre Gomes. His first goal since coming back from that horrific injury. The second half is where the mayhem really started, with Maddison scoring a free-kick seconds into the second half, and Vardy making it 3-1 in the 60th minute. At this point, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the points were Leicester’s. However, the young Englishmen Calvert-Lewin had other ideas, scoring two goals in the 77th & 85th minute. An individual performance that will be remembered for years to come.

Manchester City 2-2 Liverpool

When the fixtures were announced, many people would have had this down as a title decider. It has quickly become the most eagerly anticipated fixture in English domestic football. Despite Liverpool being crowned champions, the quality of football was still there for us to all enjoy. De Bruyne and Mane ran the show, displaying the full range of their talent, both scoring great goals in the first half. The second half was no different, with both teams playing some scintillating football, and after 70 minutes it somehow remained 1-1. However,  player of the year contender Jordan Henderson smashed home a cracking volley in the 71st minute to make it 1-2. However, City kept on fighting, and the main man Sergio Aguero tucked one home from a sublime cross from Bernado Silva to make it 2-2.

 

Sheffield United 0-0 Tottenham Hotspur

An unexpected Top 4 battle at the start of the season, but now a firm reality. The first half however, failed to live up to the hype, with neither team giving too much away. Both managers set their teams up to not get beat. It seemed Spurs were really missing Kane, as they started to create chances but couldn’t convert any of them. Sheffield United remained disciplined, without creating many chances of their own. It’s fair to say this won’t be first on Match of the Day.

 

Watford 0-2 Southampton

This was a huge game for Watford, as recent back to back defeats had looked to have signified the end of the new manager effect. Pearsons Watford team looked nervous throughout, like they were feeling the pressure from the crowd. Southampton were far from impressive themselves, however two vital goals came through Redmond and Ings, which sealed the victory, and all but sealed Premier League football next season.

 

West Ham United 1-3 Chelsea

Not just any London derby, the Frank Lampard derby, and the atmosphere in the London Stadium showed it. West Ham started well, feeding off the atmosphere of the crowd. However, after 10 minutes, Chelsea began stamping their authority on the game, with the man described as a young Frank Lampard, Mason Mount scored the opener. West Ham responded well, and soon scored one of their own, courtesy of a rare Mark Noble open play goal. The second half started with West Ham as the dominant team, playing much the better football, but they couldn’t convert the dominance into goals. The away team then showed them how its done, with two late goals from Barkley and Reece James, securing a derby day win for the blues.

Player of the week – Calvert-Lewin
Team of the week – Brighton
Match of the week – Everton vs Leicester.

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